Swing with Me : Our First Time Swinging Experience

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Top image: Joyce Huis / Unsplash. Two weeks ago, we published John’s story, a 40-year-old Singaporean man who has been swinging with his wife Mary since 2018. Now, we bring you the story from Mary’s perspective. Names have been changed. Kenzie, who has been in the lifestyle for about 13 years, laughingly referenced yelling at her husband out of jealousy at times. But that doesn’t mean non-monogamy doesn’t work just like yelling about the dishes doesn’t mean a marriage is in shambles. You talk through it.

So you’ve decided to become swingers. What now? Start slow. "Swinging to me is like adding salt to a recipe," shares Brenna, 32. "You can always add salt — but you can’t subtract it." From the onset, I wasn’t jealous. I was, in fact, proud of John’s endurance, and I credit it all to his training with me. So much of masturbation is focused on the orgasm, they said, and during this session we would take the time to bring pleasure to the body and spirit, aligning genitals with the heart. My first time dipping my toes into this lifestyle was in an SRS (same room sex) session with another couple. It was pretty exhilarating. I was trying to keep my eyes off the other couple as I thought it was rude to stare. Everyone I spoke with stressed that newbies should go in with low expectations. For example, try watching your partner dance and make out with someone else. "Dancing can be foreplay," says Kenzie. "We can grind a little bit on the dance floor to make that connection" before taking it to a play space. It’s also a low-level activity to test your tolerance for non-monogamy. Remember what Brenna said earlier about salt? If you can’t handle seeing a dance floor make-out, you probably won’t be able to handle seeing their face full of someone else’s genitals.

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And yes, some couples do come up with safe words or hand signals for when they want to get the hell out of there.

Trust the source. Research the promote or group throwing and the party and make sure they prioritize consent and acceptance. I said as long as he could get me showered and out the door in time for my second date with the muscle-bound guy from Thursday, then he was welcome to have me.Isabelle also recommends researching online and talking to people involved in swinging/soft-swinging to better understand what it involves and what options exist. Cuffs says that people outside the BDSM community are often surprised to learn that most fetish or kink parties actually limit penetration, oral play, and, in some cases, even heavy petting. What are some tips for a first-time sex party attendee? You should talk about why you want to do it, what it would bring to your relationship, what boundaries you need to set, and how you would handle potential problems,’ Isabelle tells Metro.co.uk. Safety first. Make sure the people throwing the party have enforceable no-tolerance and policies and consent monitors.

Consensual sexual activities between adults do not harm the people taking part in them, nor will they impact anyone else who isn’t involved. Giving and receiving pleasure is a beautiful feeling. But, of course, to each their own. As the scenery changed from the endless blue sea to the jade mountains of Bora Bora, we were both so overcome by the beauty that we couldn’t help but go to town on each other. I learned that just because you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean you have to only sleep with them for the rest of your life. It’s up to every couple to decide for themselves.Couple-swapping in the modern age involves the internet (sorry!). "We don’t recommend going out to a vanilla bar and trying to hook-up with people," says the other half of podcast Friends with a Twist, Madison. "It doesn’t usually work." Madison, 33, met her husband at a swinger house party surrounded by like-minded people, not at the local dive. I want to make it clear that I was never forced into this, nor did he threaten to leave our marriage if I didn’t embark on this journey. What convinced me to try swinging was my pursuit of a more honest and open marriage and exploring my own personal curiosities. Image: Tey Liang Jin / RICE File Photo A New Beginning And while I didn’t feel the need to have children once I was out of university, I still believed in monogamy. I had only been in monogamous relationships before marrying my husband, John. I expected we would be each other’s only partners. Up to that point, I held to some sort of hope that all of this wasn’t true—even when I had willingly agreed to him doing this.